Things have changed a LOT in the world since I was a teenager. One of the biggest changes is the shift in the way girls approach and interact with guys.
When I was a young teen, it was the boys who “pushed the envelope” with girls by seeing just how many liberties they could take when it came to touching them. My observations today tell me that the teeter-totter has flipped, and it seems that today, it’s the girls who are often the more aggressive ones.
Dennis Rainey quotes 2 moms at the beginning of his article, “Protecting Your Son From Aggressive Girls.”
One mother said:
I have a very outgoing, charming, attractive 15-year-old son. I have literally been chasing the girls away from the door ever since the seventh grade. The phone calls, identified by caller ID, were left for the answering machine to answer. The aggressiveness and promiscuity of young girls nowadays is beyond words. Their dress is so alluring and inviting to a young man, what’s a guy to do? Moreover, what’s a mom to do?
Another mother wrote:
After listening to your “Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date” program today, I’m wondering if you have been on a high school or junior high campus recently. While I agree with your points today, I have a seventh grade son. Let me tell you that the girls are relentless. So aggressive. He’s at a Christian school, and this is a problem. I can only imagine what it may be like elsewhere. Please address this issue.
Like these moms, Tammy and I had similar problems when my 2 sons were teens, and even before. Girls are increasingly taking the initiative with guys at younger and younger ages. Not all girls are doing these things, but many are aggressively working to engage the boys around them in sexual activities.
Why are some girls becoming so sexually aggressive? Rainey mentions 4 reasons:
1) The culture is supporting it
Sex and intimacy are glamorized, and young women are encouraged to pursue whatever they think will make them happy.
2) We have a whole generation of young men who are confused in their own sexual identity
Are they supposed to be sensitive or aggressive? Many young men today are not being taught how to treat a young lady with nobility, dignity, and respect. As a result, some of these young men have no idea how they should expect to be treated by a real young lady.
3) The breakdown of the family has resulted in a whole generation of daughters who have been abandoned
The absence of healthy, emotional attachments to parents leads many to seek emotional fulfillment with the opposite sex.
4) There’s little or no preparation for adolescence occurring among parents of preteens or early teens
This may be the root problem. Teenagers need training to understand the culture, peer pressure, what’s happening in them with their hormones, and what’s happening with the opposite sex.
Protecting your boys
Rainey says that there are 6 things parents need to be aware of:
1) Young boys are clueless to a lot of what is going on around them.
2) Aggressive girls will likely come into your son’s life.
3) You, as a parent, need a proactive plan.
4) Moms, that plan needs to involve you.
5) Your son needs a call to (real, noble – RJ) manhood.
Training your daughters
Rainey then says that there at least 4 things to consider:
1) Equip your daughter with a biblical, healthy, God-centered perspective of her sexuality.
2) Moms, model what you teach to your daughters.
3) Dads, actively love your daughters.
4) Appropriately correct inappropriate behavior.
The wise man Solomon talked extensively about the dangers that aggressive females present to guys in Proverbs 5, 6 & 7. Here’s Rainey’s paraphrase of Proverbs 7:24—27, “Don’t fool around with her, Son. Don’t go near her, because she runs a halfway house to hell, and she has your grave clothes and your coffin, Son. Heads up. This is dangerous stuff we’re talking about here”
Another Biblical passage that applies to both guys and girls is 2 Timothy 2:22, “Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
Parents, regardless of whether you are rearing girls or boys, your kids NEED you now more than ever before. They need your guidance – your patience, your words and your strength. They need to hear and see how to conduct their lives when they interact with the opposite sex.
Give it your very best while your children are young and still at home! Don’t let fear, busy-ness or even your libido keep you from being the parent your kids need.
What things do you need to talk with your kids about today that will determine the course of their lives tomorrow?
Proverbs 5, 6 & 7
2 Timothy 2:22