Things To Avoid In Marriage

When Tammy and I were first married, we made it a point to watch other married couples to see what we liked and didn’t in other relationships. We found more things that we didn’t like than things that we did.

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In fact, we quickly found that it was very difficult to find married couples that displayed actions towards each other that we admired and wanted to copy. While it was tough to find what we thought of as examples of what to do, we easily found lots of examples not to follow.

Fortunately for us, we have almost always been able to find examples of couples further down the marriage road who showed the kind of relationships we aspired to having. (Interestingly, almost all of these were people we met and spent time with through the churches we attended.)

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I recently read an article written by Mark W. Merrill titled, “7 Things You Should Stop Doing to Your Spouse in Public.”  In it, he listed 7 things that were pretty high on our list of “try to never do’s.”

Here’s Mark’s list of things that can seriously harm your marriage:

  1. Stop criticizing your spouse to others.
  2. Stop making your spouse the punch line.
  3. Stop sharing the details of your love life.
  4. Stop treating your spouse like a child.
  5. Stop checking out people who aren’t your spouse.
  6. Stop constantly correcting and contradicting your spouse.
  7. Stop flaunting your body to others.

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Let’s consider each of these:

  1. Stop criticizing your spouse to others.

Criticizing your mate might make you temporarily feel superior, but it’s a hollow ”victory.” When you are a couple, what hurts one of you also circles around to hurt the other as well. If your mate doesn’t feel safe with you, you are the one who eventually loses out on a better life. To combat this, Tammy and I made a pact to always support each other and to never criticize each other, at least in public.

  1. Stop making your spouse the punch line.

You may think it makes you the life of the party. It may not be your intent, but what it shows others is that you don’t care very much for or about your mate. To combat this, Tammy and I learned to take up for each other whenever others tried to make one of us the brunt of disparaging jokes

  1. Stop sharing the details of your love life.

Men and women both sometimes find themselves in the company of others who are intent on displaying themselves as being highly successful in bed. When you participate in such discussions and expose private information, you destroy trust. When trust is destroyed, so is the kind of intimacy that is most needed to have the kind of relationship you most need.

  1. Stop treating your spouse like a child.

It’s embarrassing, humiliating and makes you look like a shrew or a jerk. Enough said.

  1. Stop checking out people who aren’t your spouse.

While it’s impossible to keep others from occasionally catching your attention, it raises things to an entirely higher level of things. It’s demoralizing to a spouse to constantly feel compared and lacking.

  1. Stop constantly correcting and contradicting your spouse.

When your mate is telling a story, it’s not your job to make sure all their facts are straight. What is your job, is to make them look good. Remember, when they look badly, so do you.

  1. Stop flaunting your body to others.

Whether you are a woman or a man, there are ways to “strut your stuff” in an attempt to get attention. When you “advertise” your own physical assets, you are telling the world at large that you are “available.” Why not instead “advertise” that you are taken and happy to be so?

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Your marriage can be great, but only if you do what successful couples do, and avoid doing what less admirable couples do. This list of “don’t do’s” will give you a great head start in that direction!

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Source: http://www.imom.com/7-things-you-should-stop-doing-to-your-spouse-in-public

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